I have often said that irony is the ruling principle of the universe. It is a simple principle: Nothing is what it seems; things turn out differently than we expect; we see as through a glass darkly. That last paraphrase of Corinthians reflects what in fact all major religions say and have said. The Buddhists say that everything is illusion; the ancient Greeks portrayed their pantheon of gods as unpredictable and fickle; First Nations mythology seems to always feature the Trickster in one form or another.

It is wonderful to see therefore that the universe is unfolding as it should. Over the last few months squeaky-clean Tiger Woods has turned out to be a world-class philanderer; the entire airline industry, so concerned about hijacking and terrorists, has been shut down and faced with financial ruin instead by a third-rate volcano; and hundreds of celibate priests… well, irony is alive and well.

Of all the examples of obvious irony one might point to, the airlines and their attempts at security are my favorite. My last trip to the United States two weeks ago provided a couple of good ones. I had my first full body scan at the American customs in Vancouver. They pull people at random from the line-up. It wasn’t crowded and so they were scanning about one in five. I got the nod and so did a little old lady behind me. A burley man and burlier woman started shouting orders at us about where to go, how to stand and what to do with our arms. I was amused, but I think the 80-year-old lady was intimidated. Her hearing was even worse than mine and at one point she tried to get in the scanner with me. The security personnel I have noticed have little sense of humour. I hoped that when the Tasers came out they wouldn’t hit me by mistake. I had to wait in a secure area until a little green light came on the side of the machine indicating that I had passed. I didn’t wait to see how grandma did. The irony is that while I stood with my arms over my head listening to the clicks and whirs of the machine while two guards watched me intently, I was able to see down the row of security checks to the place where aircraft personnel pass through. Two swarthy guys in pilot’s uniforms and briefcases walked through a check without a second glance from anyone.

It’s a good thing the old lady didn’t have 20 pounds of plastic explosives on her; that would have been a little too ironic.