"If you're Josh Beckett," writes Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, "it's time to make a decision. That pitching you're doing is hurting your golf game." . . . So do you think that Toronto Blue Jays hotshot Brett Lawrie got the message that umpire Bill Miller delivered on Tuesday night? . . . Hey, Kamloops, are you feeling the need for another bridge these days, or what? . . . And, hey, wouldn't it have been nice to be able to take the kids to Sedric's Adventure Resort and Theme Park on this long weekend? . . . Forward Devin Gannon of Kamloops, who captained the BCHL's Cowichan Valley Capitals this season, will attend Mount Royal University in Calgary and play for the Cougars next season. Gannon had a team-high 79 points with the Capitals. The Cougars are moving into the CIS for the first time next season and will play in Canada West. . . .
There are soon to be new laws in B.C. that will prohibit motorcyle riders from wearing the flimsy helmets known as skid lids or skull caps. "However," notes Richmond blogger T.C. Chong, "if you are from Saskatchewan, you will still be allowed to wear a watermelon." . . .
With Kim Kardashian having expressed a desire to become a star in the world of comedy, Janice Hough (aka the West Coast Sports Babe) wonders: "It's not enough for her that's she's already a punchline?" . . . After Snooki made the claim that being pregnant has made her a little more mature, Hough noted: "Well, hard to see how it could have made her a little less mature." . . . An interesting feud has developed in Major League Baseball where Colorado Rockies left-hander Jamie Moyer, 49, has accused Atlanta Braves third baseman Chipper Jones, 40, of stealing signs. As Hough puts it: "I guess this episode is baseball's version of Grumpy Old Men." . . .
Look for the Kamloops Blazers to announce the signing of C Jayden Halbgewachs, their first pick in the 2012 WHL bantam draft, early in June. He's only 5-foot-7 and may not grow a whole lot. But one person who has watched him says not to be concerned with the size issue. "He goes where the puck will be," I was told. "The problem will be in finding someone to play with him because he is that good." . . . The NHL's Columbus Blue Jackets haven't announced it yet but they have signed Blazers D Austin Madaisky to a three-year contract. He was a fifth-round pick in the 2010 NHL draft. He's eligible for one more WHL season but is likely to play in the Blue Jackets' system. . . . D Bronson Maschmeyer, who played out his WHL eligibility with the Blazers this season, will attend St. Francis Xavier University in Antigonish, N.S., and play for the X-Men. Maschmeyer, who is from Bruderheim, Alta., played in 231 consecutive regular-season and playoff games with the Blazers after they acquired him from the Vancouver Giants. . . . D Linden Saip, who played 142 games with the Blazers before leaving the team early in the 2010-11 season and returning to his Surrey home, has commited to the UBC Thunderbirds. After leaving the Blazers, Saip played for the BCHL's Surrey Eagles. . . .
If you've seen third baseman Ryan Roberts of the Arizona Diamondbacks, you may have wondered if his mother was the circus's tattooed lady. Roberts figures he has at least 300 tats. . . . Ron Judd, writing in the Seattle Times: "Mariners futility player Chone Figgins, sliding safely back at his accustomed .189 batting average, told reporters, 'I just feel good.' We'd feel good, too, getting paid a CEO salary to be an ongoing abject failure at a playground game. But to actually admit it requires a special level of cluelessness." . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Classy Josh Hamilton dedicates 4 HRs to the memory of Albert Pujols. . . .
With the Washington Capitals looking for a head coach, you wonder if they'll consider former Blazers sniper/head coach Dean Evason. He's been an assistant there through seven seasons now. . . . From blogger R.J. Currie of sportsdeke.com: "Reuters reports an elephant in the Washington, D.C., zoo has taken up playing the harmonica. Zookeepers nicknamed her CFL because she plays for peanuts." . . . I am told that the National Throws Centre is soon to be home to a Canadian lad who already has thrown the shot 20.50 metres. And that's before Dr. B has worked with him. . . .
"According to a new study, coffee helps you live longer," notes Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald. "Imagine if this is true. That means not only does that guy in the corner with his laptop at Starbucks never leave, but he's gonna be there for the next 75 years." . . . Here's one from Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel: "Philosophical question: Why is it that coaches only want to spend more time with their families after they've had bad seasons?" . . . After Tiger Woods finished tied for 40th at the Players Championship last weekend, Bianchi wrote: "I've always wanted to be able to play golf like Tiger Woods, and now I can. He's awful."
(Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at firstname.lastname@example.org, gdrinnan.blogspot.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears Saturdays except when it doesn't.)