When the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency accused cycling's Lance Armstrong of doping, it claimed his U.S. Postal Service team ran "the most sophisticated . . . doping program" in sports history. To which Jimmy Fallon noted: "When news of this got out, Major League Baseball was like, 'Well, we had a good run.' " . . . So how did New York City's latest air-quality study go? According to CBS-TV's David Letterman: "They said New York's air has more chemicals in it than Lance Armstrong." . . . Larry Fitzgerald Sr. is a sports writer in Minneapolis-St. Paul; his son, Larry Jr., a wide receiver with the NFL's Arizona Cardinals, has a $128.5-million contract. "He's doing pretty well," Senior told the St. Paul Pioneer Press. "I keep trying to get him to bump my allowance." . . . Do you get the feeling that Donald Fehr, the executive director of the NHLPA, now is playing the tune and that the NHL owners are going to have to dance for him before a CBA is done? . . .
"Meanwhile, in Michigan," writes Ron Judd in the Seattle Times, "a guy reportedly set off a large apartment-complex fire by attempting to prep a squirrel for dinner with a propane torch. If you're listening, Chef Squirrel: Your second cousin in Thurston County, convalescing from a gunshot wound to the head after rifle fishing for salmon, sends his best wishes." . . . If you missed it, actress Uma Thurman announced this week that her three-month-old daughter with Arpad Busson has been named Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson. Friends will call her Luna; her mother will be known as Looney. . . .
They're getting antsy in Philadelphia, where Eagles head coach Andy Reid knows he's yesterday's news unless he gets into the playoffs. "Panic time in Philly?" wondered Len Berman of ThatsSports.com. "Andy Reid has fired defensive co-ordinator Juan Castillo. I guess you have to blame the offence's 17 turnovers on somebody." . . . If you're a veteran NFL fan, you will remember Steve Tasker as a terrific special teams player with the Buffalo Bills. His son, Luke, had 11 catches for 280 yards and a TD a week ago as his Cornell Big Red beat the Monmouth Hawks, 41-38. . . .
You can bet that the Kamloops Blazers are having a lot of fun with JC Lipon's rise to the top of the WHL's scoring table. On Thursday, centre Dylan Willick sent a tweet that included these hashtags - lipcredible, lipawesome, superlip, unlipable, backdoorlipon, lippychan, lipesus, lipowerful, lippytrain and lipsnack. . . . Amazingly, the WHL season is just four weeks old and the Blazers went into last night's action with a 17-point lead over the Vancouver Giants. . . . And who saw that coming? . . . How big is the NFL? It has the 10 most-watched shows on American TV since the Labour Day weekend. That's all TV. Not just sports shows. All TV. Period. . . .
Pat Gillick was the general manager of the Toronto Blue Jays when they began play in the American League in 1977. He told Prime Time Sports host Bob McCown on Wednesday that the payroll for that team was $760,000, with $100,000 of that going to pitcher Bill Singer. . . . Yes, $760,000. Think about that for a few moments. . . . A-Rod pulled down $29 million this season. In other words, it took him five games to make more money than the entire Toronto payroll in 1977. . . . It isn't likely to happen, but here's hoping that A-Rod ends up in South Florida with the Miami Marlins next season. A-Rod on a team managed by Ozzie Guillen. What's not to like about that? . . . Upon hearing a report that Judge Judy pulls down $45 million a year, comedian Argus Hamilton noted: "Only Alex Rodriguez is paid more to sit on the bench." . . .
Headline at SportsPickle.com: NHL owners, players schedule latest breakdown in talks for Tuesday in Toronto. . . . And one from TheOnion.com: Gary Bettman surprised by popularity of NHL lockout. . . . NHL players signed contracts in good faith and assumed the owners were doing the same. And now the players want to be paid under the terms of those contracts. What's wrong with that? . . .
Alex Karras left us last week at the age of 77. A fierce defensive tackle with the Detroit Lions, he missed the 1963 NFL season with a gambling-related suspension and retired in 1971. When he retired, he told the Milwaukee Journal: "The thing I'll miss most is the chance to see all my good friends up in Green Bay every year. You know - the ones who wait for me to walk on the field and then yell, 'Who you betting on today, Fatso?' Those good people." . . . While suspended, Karras did a spin as a pro wrestler and even had a bout with Dick The Bruiser. Peter King of Sports Illustrated recalled the two of them even scrapping in a Detroit bar "a couple of days before the match." . . . "Mongo only pawn . . . in game of life."
(Gregg Drinnan is sports editor of The Daily News. He is at
firstname.lastname@example.org, gdrinnan.blogspot.com and
twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears Saturdays, except when it doesn't.)